A BRIGHTER SMILE

A few weeks ago Kit and I went off to Radio City Music Hall to see Willie Nelson & Family, “family” being what the accompanying bands and instrumentalists were called as well as those persons brought along to prop up the ol’ fella. Now I must once again hasten to say that none of this was Kit’s doing; this was purely my own indulgence for Country and Western music, an acquired taste no doubt and one that virtually my entire family and circle of friends does not understand in the least.
Be that as it may, Radio City is a place I have only been to previously for Christmas and Easter extravaganzas and then only as a small child or as the guest of my daughter who wanted me to relive being a small child. In those shows the Rockettes kick out their 7 ft. of leg and a Wurlitzer rises up out of the pit like Godzilla over Tokyo Bay. None of that took place with Willie Nelson. The closest we got to that sort of thing was iridescent blue straws provided with beers and by the time Kit bought a beer, the straws were all gone.
Anyway, we were handed what I thought were programs but turned out to be advertising booklets for upcoming shows. An article aptly called “Under the Influence” by one Sophie Harris begins, “The Brits are sometimes puzzled as to why—or really, how---American people can connect to quintessentially English bands. You know, the sorts of bands who drop in kitchen-sink lyrics so specific as to be nonsensical to anyone not brought up on fish and chips and bad dentistry.”
Now hang on a second there, pardner. First let’s deal with the bad dentistry. It is absolutely true that some years ago while in conversation with a stranger at a bus stop in NYC, I was suddenly told that I had very good teeth for an English person. But the days of the Beatles staring out at us with crooked, gapped and somewhat buck teeth are long gone and, Nanny McPhee aside, one can now find in London as many teeth whitening centers and cosmetic dentistry salons hoping to part you and your money as there are in New York. English news readers can blind you with their smiles in HD in just the same manner as Sade Baderinwa on ABC7.
Moving along, I also have to wonder why BRITS –which is to say, English, Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish—are wondering only about ENGLISH bands and Americans? Don’t the Scottish bands also have appeal to Americans? Irish? Welsh? Hmm?
Finally, getting back to the essence of this quote, regarding Americans relating to the kitchen sink (John Osborne where are you now?) lyrics of English bands, well, here’s the thing. Back in Radio City with Willie Nelson I spotted but 3 cowboy hats ( my own not being one of them since we had dined at Gordon Ramsey’s Maze before the show and I thought a Stetson slightly inappropriate). True, the puncher sitting right behind us announced in a voice Willie could’ve heard backstage that he had just flown in from Casper, Wyoming, for the show; there’s dedication for you! But if this concert had taken place in the UK??? Dude, I’m tellin’ you right here, right now, there woulda been Stetsons as far as the eye could see. You hear what I’m sayin’? The Brits unnerstan the Yanks’ kitchen sink lyrics just the same: dirt roads, pick-up trucks, swimmin’ holes and rodeo in Cheyenne. To paraphrase what the old man sang, Mammas are lettin’ their babies grow up to be cowboys all over the dang place. And with good teeth too.